Words

When you want to put down your thoughts in words.
Just for you.
Tapi macam xde tempat yang orang wouldn't find it.
But you don't want that.
Tapi x larat keep.

Struggle

Sepatutnya.
Put semua pada Allah.
And always always always, Allah first.

Nak mengadu, nak berharap.
Allah first.

Allah je yang tak tired.
Manusia tired.

You get tired of your struggles.
And people get tired of you and your struggles.

At this point, dah x sure where is the starting point.
But one with a timestamp is 20/12/17
Of one admission. Preceeded with a successful ondeh ondeh cake runner story.
Yet to be discharged, came another admission on 23/12/17.
Discharged well on 26/12/17.
Reviewed and all meds stopped. 3/1/18
Sambung with school attire hunt and car service + maintenance on the same day.
Sambung first day of school 4/1/18
Then 2nd day of school but first day of work after a long unplanned leave with 2 schoolgoing kids.

Whatever in between is a hazy mess.
With deadlines, handling school orientation emotional rollercoaster.
Then come weekend. Another visit for neb.

Allah ada.
Allah ada.
Allah ada.

I feel like I have to put this mess in my head into something tangible but malas, x mampu, x mahu.

Allah ada.
Allah tahu.

Allah knows all about me.